Be the Dominatrix of His Fantasies

If your partner has particular “needs,” you might as well step up to the plate and help fulfill his fantasies. It might not be the “Fifty Shades of Grey” you were expecting, but you might be surprised that being the dominatrix in your bedroom can be quite fulfilling for the both of you.

Dress the Part

Load up on some leathers and latex, but don’t forget the whips, ropes, and penis cages. Dressing up in a corset or a catsuit makes the fantasy a lot more realistic, immersing both of you into the role of dominatrix and submissive. Part of your role as the dominatrix is to be the object of lust while remaining in control. Accentuate your body with leather bodysuits, sexy gloves, perhaps a corset, and the all-important high-heeled boots. Control your partner by putting him on a leash, locking his penis, or even covering his face if he wants it.

Play the Part

Teach your sub respect, and one way to do that is making him address you as Madame, Mistress, Lady, Queen, Countess, Empress, or some other title. Give your sub a name that’s suitable for him, and have him earn it. Bondage plays are all about power, control, and permission. Read a few articles about the subject — maybe with a bit of Velvet Underground’s Venus in Furs. Set your schedule, and don’t break character until it’s over. Use a different tone of voice if you can to better affirm your transformation. Make your sub feel like a sub. Control every aspect of the bondage act, including when, where — or even if — he can ejaculate. Revel in the power and the worship, but keep the bondage stuff within the confines of the schedule. One thing that makes power play work is the yearning, so keep those leathers locked until enough time has passed.  

Play Safe

Safe words are fine, but they only mean stop. A better way to regulate the bondage experience is making your sub use numbers to convey how distressed or uncomfortable he is. Use the numbers 1-10, set thresholds on his desired levels, and dial up or down depending on his response. Don’t let him shout the numbers; always make him wait until you ask. Subs don’t dictate their dominatrix’s actions, so letting him dictate the pace kind of breaks the fantasy. Set rules and limits to your bondage play and try to avoid overly inflicting damage. Both of you probably have to go to work the next day, so don’t leave any obvious marks.

Why Bondage?

If both parties are willing, bondage plays can be beneficial to a relationship. It balances the power issues within a relationship even if it’s only for a night. It allows your levels of sexual desire to reach new heights and reinvigorate passions that might have been waning.

Bondage isn’t for everyone.  However, if you and your partner want to have a go at it, you better be good at playing the part. Be the dominatrix of his dreams, but remember to keep the bondage in the bedroom.